00:00:00
So teenage periods, we've all been there, right? We either loved them, hated them, took a pill, switched them off, and didn't really have a period again till we wanted babies later in our twenty s or our 30s. Well, teenage periods are really important, you know, now that ovulation is really important. And so the same is said for teenage health, is that ovulation can be really beneficial. So we need to encourage ovulation patient and our girls.

00:00:26
But sometimes teenage periods are a hassle. So this episode is going to debunk the myths about periods, what's great, what's not, and some tips on how to get through these tricky years as a teenager. Hello, my name is Monique Dickson and I love everything to do with the menstrual cycle of hormones and periods. I'm a beginner unschooler to four very free range kids here in rural New Zealand. I have lived with unbalanced hormones, adult acne and burnout.

00:00:57
Just like so many of you. I now teach you the tried and tested ways to replenish your body, balance your hormones, and finally understand how you feel in each phase of your cycle. Just think of this podcast as your one stop shop for finally getting your period and hormones back to being better than ever before. Because hormones really are our superpower as women. Pour your tea, get cozy, and I'm ready to learn.

00:01:25
This is the Hormonally Balanced Mother's Podcast. We all had our first period experience and it was either positive experience or a negative experience. And then after our first period, we then went through the five to seven years of kind of our body getting used to having these hormones cycling through our body. And that is known as puberty. And it can be a wild time.

00:01:51
We either look back fondly or maybe not so fondly on our puberty years of our life. And so what I want to tell you in this podcast is about what is normal for a teenage period, what is not normal, and when to go and seek out some help and a little bit of insight to all the hormonal changes that are happening for our teenage girls. So puberty is the first massive hormonal change that happens in our life. And following that we have pregnancy, the big hormonal transition, and then after that we have perimenopause, which is where we go from normal cycling years until winding down to have no cycle. Okay, so puberty is the first time that our bodies go through this massive change.

00:02:32
And it is a wild time, we all know that. But sometimes things are happening that are not actually normal, but we don't know they're not normal because they might have happened to us and then our mothers, and then now they happen to our daughters. And we just think it's a normal thing for them to be dealing with. So I'm going to debunk those myths in this podcast so you have a better understanding of what should be happening and what should not be happening and how we can support our teenage girls as they go through these teenage years. First thing we need to know is what are the signs that our girls are about to get their periods.

00:03:07
So the first one to look out for is the breastbud development. And this is one of the earliest signs of puberty and it can occur for up to a year before she gets her period, or it may just be a few months. The next one is that she might be getting some pubic hair growth around her genital area. And this kind of happens around the same time as her breasts are developing. And she may also start to be getting some vaginal discharge.

00:03:31
And you'll be seeing this if you are doing the washing and just observing from her knickers, some white sticky discharge is happening. And this is normal. This is a good sign that her body is making the hormones that she needs in order to gear up to ovulate and then get her first period. Your daughter may be feeling like slightly crampy or a little bit of pain in her abdominal area. And if she doesn't haven't had a period or period cramps before, she may not know what this is.

00:03:58
So just keep your ear up. If she is talking about having sore stomach or bloating, it may actually be some kind of period. Cramps means her period is about to come. Our hormonal changes also mean that she may be experiencing acne breakouts which are increased because the oil has been increased on her skin, which is due to her hormonal changes as well. She may be getting a height or a growth spurt around the time of her first period.

00:04:24
Your daughter may also be experiencing some kind of a growth spurt and this is also due to the hormonal changes as well. So there's just some key ideas. Around twelve years old is the average age that a girl will get her period, but it's dependent on so many factors. But the main one being when did you get your first period and when did your partner's, sisters or mother, like that side of the family get their first period. And it's going to be probably like somewhere in between the two of them.

00:04:53
It is important to note that every girl is different though and the signs and the timing of her puberty and her first period, which we actually called menarch or menarchy, you may have heard that term being thrown around before and that just means her first period, her first bleed. So what is a normal period for a teenage girl? We've talked about what a normal period is for an adult woman in previous podcasts, but this is specifically talking about our teenagers and they have a different set of guidelines because their body is experiencing different things. It's kind of brand new to their body. So their body is just getting used to these hormonal rivers.

00:05:28
And as the rivers flow more often and more frequently, then the rivers get deeper and it gets easier for those hormones to flow in those paths. Okay? So that is why we have a different set of not rules, but different set of guidelines for a teenage period. So the first thing I want to point out is that her cycle length can be anywhere between 21 to 45 days. And that's because her Follicles can take longer to develop because of those hormonal rivers are not fully set yet.

00:05:57
They're just working themselves out. So cycle lengths do tend to normalize as kids, as teenage girls get older. And by the third year after, men are about 60% to 80%, have reduced that window for cycles being between 21 to 34 days long. So they can be up to 45 days long if they are in their first couple of years of menstruation having a cycle. But after that, we want to see that come down to 21 to 34 days long.

00:06:22
Okay? Bleeding can last anywhere between two to seven days and the average amount of blood loss is 30 to 40 mils. Now, I want to give you a guideline as to what to look out for. So if your teenage girl does not fit into that set of guidelines for what is normal for a teenage girl, then you need to listen to this and know that if anything in this next section of the podcast sounds like your teenage daughter, you need to get her looked at by some professional, because this is not normal. And the first thing that's not normal is if she hasn't got a period by the age of 16.

00:06:57
So if that is your daughter, this is called primary amenaria and that means that she has not got a period by the time she is 16. She has not had a cycle or no ovulation before the time she is 16. And that means something deeper is going on in her hormonal makeup of her body. And we need to get that looked at into because by now I hope that you know how important having a cycle is for long term woman's health. The next thing I want you to be looking out for is how much blood is your daughter losing?

00:07:27
And if she's losing less than 25 mils or more than 80 mils, then that warrants investigation. So remember that a fully soaked tampon or pad is five mils. So if she is not soaking five full tampons or five full pads, then we need to look into that. And on the other hand, if she is soaking more than like twelve to 16 tampons or pads at any one cycle, then that also warrants investigation because that is too much blood loss. And that indicates there's some kind of hormonal imbalance that we need to get to the root cause of.

00:08:02
Also, if she is bleeding for more than eight days, then that's something we want to have a look at as well, because that means that's too much blood loss. Why is she bleeding for that long? That's not normal. That's a lot of blood that she will be losing. And as a teenager, it's not fun to be losing that much blood.

00:08:17
It'll be exhausting you. It'll be embarrassing you. It'll be impacting the quality of your life. And being a teenager is hard enough already without having the complications of imbalanced hormones. If your daughter is going for more than three months without having a period, then we also need to look into that because that means that she is not ovulating regularly.

00:08:36
Remember that you have to ovulate in order to have a true period. So we need to make sure we can get her ovulating regularly enough to have a period within that 45 days. So three months is too long. Suggest. And so what can you do as a mother to be aware of this?

00:08:51
Well, it's really important that you have open discussions with your daughter about when she is bleeding, that it's okay to be bleeding. And if she could just keep some kind of a track of how many tampons she's using or how full her menstrual cup is and she could just relay that information to you so that you can keep a mental tally of how much blood that she is losing, so that you also know how often she is bleeding and getting her period. So more than three months, that is too long. That means that her hormones are not balanced, they are not working the way they should be. And if you can catch it now, early on in her puberty years, it's going to make the rest of her cycling years just that much easier.

00:09:29
You're going to give her the tools and the strategies. You're going to give her the gift of a healthy cycle, and it's a very special gift to give. On the flip side of that, we want to make sure that our girls are not having two periods in one month or really irregular bleeding patterns. Want to make sure that we are trying to get our daughters to have this cycle between 25 to 35 days within three to five years of starting her period. So it's okay at the beginning of your puberty to be having cycles that anywhere between 21 to 45 days long.

00:10:01
But after like, three to five years, we want to make sure that her cycles are coming down and becoming more regular. And this is going to make a big difference on her life as well, because it means that she can start to predict her period. She can start to know and notice their signs and how regular they can be. The last sign that I want you to be looking out for is any kind of extreme period pain or cramping that occurs while she's got her period. And if this pain is disrupting her daily activities or her school attendance or her life in general, then that warrants investigation.

00:10:34
My one big message to you is that period pain is not normal. Mild discomfort is okay during our period, but period pain while we are bleeding is not normal, even though we as a society tend to accept it and we as women just brush it off as this is normal and this is my lot in life and I'm going to have period pain forever. Want you to know that's not the case. We can get to the root cause of your period pain and work hard with our diet and our lifestyle changes and maybe some supplements in there to make sure that we can decrease the amount of prostaglands in our uterus, which is causing the pain and causing the discomfort, and get that more balanced so that you can and your daughter can have these pain free or these mild discomfort periods instead of really painful periods, because that's just another stress that we're adding to our teenager's life. And if we can get that sorted now and give her pain free periods, then just imagine how much her attitude to menstruation and bleeding is going to change.

00:11:31
So that kind of wraps up the physical symptoms and signs of what to expect when your teenage daughter has got her period and also what to look out for, what's not okay, and when to seek professional help for your daughter's period. That's all to do with the hormonal side of our daughters and what they're going through at this time of puberty in the three to five years after menarch. I haven't really touched on the emotional changes that happen in a girl's life. But I suppose what I want to tell you is that if you are aware of your cycle, if you are honoring your body and your need for rest, how your self care changes, how your energy changes throughout your cycle, if you are actively living that and talking about it with your daughter in a really open way, then you are giving her permission to also tune into her body and to, I don't want to say have an excuse to why she feels like she does, but it is definitely a reason. And it can be a big lift and a big weight off our shoulders when we do understand why we feel the way that we do and also the fact that it's not our fault that we feel this way.

00:12:38
It's literally hardwired, however designed, and it's in our hormones, it's in our blood. And these hormones change everything about our body as we go through the month. So there's really beautiful times. And I know when I was a teenager, everything was just great. I knew what I was going to do, I knew where I was heading, I knew who my friends were.

00:12:57
And I felt really confident in that and knowing what I know, now, I probably was ovulating around that time. All my hormones were just gunning for me to be social and happy and productive and nurturing and giving to those around me. And then there were really hard times when I was a teenager and I wanted to slam the doors and I was unkind and I was rude and anything to do with my family. And looking back now, that probably was when I was in the wild woman phase of my cycle. But no one knew it then.

00:13:25
No one gave me these tools of body awareness and body literacy and being aware of my hormones and how they did change. So what I'm trying to get across here is that if you know your cycle and you are living that and you are explaining why you feel the way you do in a really open way and a really accepting way of your body that is going to give your daughter permission to also feel the same way about her body and be accepting of her moods, to understand that she might be really grouchy this week and that that's okay to feel grouchy in that week, but also to know that she's not going to be grouchy forever. Like, it's literally a week to ten days that we have those feelings, and then we bleed, and then we rest on our bleed because remember, that's really important. That sets us up for success. So by you modeling rest on your bleed, it's going to encourage your daughter, or maybe you can openly have the conversation to encourage your daughter that when you do rest on your bleed, you can do less on your bleed that is going to set her up for an easier, more energetic cycle following that bleed.

00:14:33
So you're probably sitting there thinking, all right, I know my cycle, I know my daughter's cycle, and it's okay. Her hormones are like, somewhat balanced as her body figures out what to do with all these hormones. But what can we actually do as mothers to help our daughters through this transitional time in their life? And I've touched on already, the biggest one that you can do is be a living, breathing model of accepting your cycle, something I call honest womanhood. If you are being really honest about how you feel, why you feel that way, and accepting that about yourself, it's going to give your daughter a permission to feel the same and have all these feelings, to not try and suppress them.

00:15:13
And the next one that I suggesting for those of you that are really keen is what if you could try and track your daughter's cycle together or track both of your cycles together? Like, can you just have a small check in at the end of the day before she goes to sleep? Hey, where are you in your cycle? Oh, that's great to know. Okay, and how do you feel in your body at this time in your cycle?

00:15:33
What needs do you have right now that maybe we can all be aware of and then yeah, to just make that into a practice. So giving your daughter the gift of balanced hormones and body awareness of her cycle is going to be hugely beneficial to the rest of her cycling years, which in total we have about 400 periods or cycles in our life. So just imagine if you can give her the right kickstart at the beginning of life, how much easier her cycling years are going to be if she already knows this stuff about her body and her hormones and that it's okay to feel like this as a woman. I just think that would be such an amazing special gift for a mother to give to her daughter. So if this is you, and this is really resonating with you, but you are thinking that maybe your daughter's hormones are not actually balanced, then reach out to me, send me an email.

00:16:24
[email protected], or message me on Instagram, and maybe we can work out a plan on how to balance your daughter's hormones by changing her diet and her lifestyle, the stresses in her life. Because all of these things, all of these things that we do or the things that we don't do have a massive role on our hormones. I wish I could tell you that taking a pill is going to erase all the problems, but it's not. We are not going to talk about the hormonal birth control pill on this podcast because that is going to take me probably into the night. Let me just point out that if your daughter is in the puberty years of her life, as in she is in the teenage years, and you were at the opposite, we call it the second puberty, which is perimenopause, which is the two to ten years before menopause, where your hormones are doing the opposite thing to what your daughter's hormones are doing.

00:17:14
Your daughter's body is getting used to her hormones and they are kind of building up and to become cycling, normal length cycling hormones. And then at the other end of the scale is where we start about 40 to 45 years old. We start going through perimenopause, which is where our body starts losing these hormones. Until about 51 is the average age that women hit menopause. And at this time, they got very low levels of estrogen and absolutely no progesterone.

00:17:41
So it's a wild time. So if you're both in these wild times, that can be a little bit tricky. That can be quite a transitional time for both of you. Your hormones are changing a lot, but also so is your mental and emotional state. It's kind of like returning to a butterfly or returning to something entirely new.

00:18:01
So I talk about seasons of life a lot. Where our daughter is in this transitional time from maiden into the mother at the end of our cycling years. Where you may be now if you're in the age range of 40 to 50. You are going from the mother season of our life, which is all about giving and nurturing, into the wild woman season of our life, which is more about understanding and finding our true selves. Who are we without a family around all the time?

00:18:30
And what do we actually want out of life? So it's less about giving so you can see if we're going through at the same time. That's a big ask. That's a lot of space that needs to be held for these two very important women. So I just wanted to point that out to you and that if that is you, be extra kind to yourself, be extra kind to your daughter.

00:18:51
You will both come out of this more beautiful than ever. But just give yourself the grace of time and of surrendering, of looking after your body, doing self care practices, eating foods that are really going to make enough hormones for the both of you. I'm here for you. If you need some extra support, just reach out to me and yeah, bless you as you go through this journey. Thank you for listening.