How to be a mother with a menstrual cycle

 

It’s hard enough being a mother, let alone a mother with a menstrual cycle that keeps changing our moods and emotions. When you mix sleep deprivation, snacking and no time for self-care you get a pretty toxic mix of emotions.

 

Maybe you’ve thought about just turning off your hormones AKA hormonal birth control.

 

Maybe not. (please get solid, holistic advice before doing this)

 

Maybe you just ‘push through’ and know that ‘this too will pass’.

 

Yes it will - but it’ll only keep getting worse if you don’t address it.

 

Maybe you have had enough and you’re ready to finally understand your hormones!

 

 

If you are a Mother aged 25-45 and you have a natural menstrual cycle (as in you aren’t on hormonal birth control) this blog post is for you.

 

You will learn about the 4 phases of your cycle - that are on repeat every monthish.

 

You will understand WHY you feel snarky one week and full of bliss the next week.

 

You will know how to be a Mother who lives in alignment with her cycle.

 

Are you ready for this?

 

Maybe grab a cup of tea - you’re in for a ride! 

 

You were probably led to believe that women's hormones are confusing, dangerous and unpredictable - well that is all a load of bullocks. 

 

Your hormones are what created your beautiful babies.

 

Your hormones are what gave you your luscious curves.

 

Your hormones are what give you energy to get through those long nights (and days)

 

Your hormones are what govern your menstrual cycle.

 

 

And every cycle they repeat in a predictable way.

 

You can make it complicated - and some people do - but not here I don’t. 

 

I believe that every woman should have the knowledge about how her body works.

 

There are 2 main hormones you need to know.

 

Easy peasy. One is for energy and one is for peacefulness.

 

The energetic one is Oestrogen - and she wants you to get pregnant every single month. She is pushing you to get out, meet people, find a mate and make babies! She is out for a good time!

But too much of her and you have problems.

 

Then you have her opposite - because we can’t be energetic and happy all month long - thats a recipe for burnout. So in comes Progesterone - the peaceful calming one. The one that is keeping you safe. 

Progesterone want’s you to stay indoors, eat more food and hang with only those you love.

But not enough of this hormone and you’ll miss out on the peaceful calming effect.

 

So you need both hormones. In a balanced amount - not too much and not too little. 

 

And the only way to achieve this is to regularly ovulate.

 

So if you are regularly ovulating - great job! You are on your way to strong bones, healthy breasts and good moods! Ovulation is a really important part of living as a woman, and when we turn it off (by going on hormonal birth control) we get problems arising.

 

SO if you know you are regularly ovulating - read on, as your hormones are playing out in a predictable fashion every cycle.

 

Let’s start at the beginning - Day 1 of your cycle. This is the first day of bleeding. The first day of full bleeding - spotting doesn't count here.

The bleeding phase

 

This is a time of low hormones - literally the lowest amount of hormones you will have all cycle. Which means low levels of energy. 

 

To work in with your cycle its best to take some rest here, and ask for help. Let me explain.

 

How to be a Mother when you have your period 🩸

 

Having your period means your hormones are low, the lowest they will be all cycle. This means your energy is low too.

 

This is a time for rest and release. Just as you are releasing the lining of your uterus (because you didn’t get pregnant this cycle) its a great time to release things in your life that arent working. 

 

When your children are all over you, all day, rest can be tricky. I know - this is my stage of life too at the moment. What I advise you to do is to take a deep breath and sit on the floor or lay on the couch. 

 

Here are my favourite period activities with kids;

• Play put Mummy to bed
• Read stories together
• Play board games - quiet ones
• Watch a movie together
• Encourage quiet time
• Mutually beneficial activities (activities that you both like and you actually feel like doing)

 

This is also a great time to talk to them about periods, in positive way. Show them your menstrual products if they are interested - let them play with clean ones. The attitude that you have towards your own period will shape how they feel about it too.

 

Educating our sons about periods is equally important and should not be overlooked. 

 

I call this phase of our cycle the Crone phase. The crone is a season of a woman's life from age 75 ish onwards - its a peaceful, calm and wise time. To think about yourself at this age can help you navigate your period. 

The Pre-Ovulation Phase

The next phase of your cycle is when your energetic hormone - oestrogen, is rising. And with it so are your energy levels. 

 

It can be a fun time - I often feel playful here.

How to Mother when Oestrogen is rising

 

You’ll know when you’ve got to this phase because you will have finished bleeding and your energy levels will be rising - that’s thanks to oestrogen. She is getting you ready to have some fun!

 

As a Mother in this phase its a great time to bring out your inner child and have some fun! Letting yourself be silly, cheeky and spontaneous is what might feel good here. Explain how you feel to your kids and why you feel this way - let them know that you want to have some fun with them.

 

Here are some of my favourite activities to do with the kids in this phase;

• Break routine at dinner time - have a picnic outside
• Dance around the kitchen/anywhere with the music up loud
• Get on the ground and play together
• Go on new adventures
• Go to new places
• Visit friends or have playdates

 

I liken this phase to the Maiden season of a woman's life. The Maiden season is from birth til age 25ish - its a time in a women life when she is energetic, spontaneous, adventurous and wants to explore and discover who SHE is and how SHE fits into the world. The energy in this phase of the cycle is just like the energy we had as you girls - imagine yourself at this age and embrace that feeling. 

 

But just as you didn't have too much pressure, stress or to-dos as a Maiden - you need to make sure you don’t over-do it in this phase (which I know is really hard, but bear with me because in the next phase you can do it all!)

And as your oestrogen keeps on rising, you enter into the next phase of your menstrual cycle. 

The Ovulation phase

This is the time around ovulation - peaking levels of our beautiful oestrogen here.

 

Have you ever felt like superwoman - like nothing could stop you, like you’re on top of the world! Well it's highly likely you were in this phase of your cycle - the Ovulation phase. 

 

It’s a time of high energy, productivity and libido. You really can do it all and have it all in this phase - which is lucky isn't it- because the last two phases have been less productive. 

 

How to Mother over Ovulation

 

Mothering is often easier in this phase, as you can handle the multitasking, juggling and rollercoaster that motherhood is. And you’ll likely do it with ease and a smile on your face!

 

Here are some of my favourite activities to do with the kids in this phase;

• Baking in the kitchen
• Socialising
• Going away for a night with the kids
• Visiting friends and family
• Exercising
• Dancing!
• Doing something for those in need
• Making pretty things/art and crafts

 

This really is your chance to do what you want and bring your kids along for the ride. 

 

If you didn’t manage any rest in your Crone phase or you went too hard too fast in your Maiden phase you probably won’t reach the peak of your energy in this phase - but if this is you - know that you aren’t alone, its the most common thing I see in the Mothers I coach. We just seem to get too excited and hit the ground running after our periods. But if you want to reach the high that ovulation is then make sure you hold back til you get here - then you can let yourself go! 

 

This does come with a warning - don’t forget your own needs here - if you give all of yourself away the next phase can be a jolt back to reality. So schedule in some time for you, (and your partner).

 

Can you guess what this phase is called? 

 

It’s that life season of a women after she graduates from Maidenhood at age 25 (or with the birth of her first child) - its the Mother season of life. The all consuming, multitasking season of our lives. A Mother is an amazing specimen who can handle it all - more than the Maiden can - and that is the energy that this phase of your menstrual cycle has. So think about all you do, and how much love you have to give and embrace that feeling for this phase of your cycle.

 

Because it all comes crashing down as we enter the next phase - and that’s because ovulation is all over, and we lose the beautiful oestrogen - and its replaced by progesterone. 

The Pre-Menstrum phase

But the loss of oestrogen can hurt. 

 

And if you don’t have enough progesterone replacing oestrogen, then it can feel like a shock to the system.

 

We lose our high energy state, our ability to multitask with ease and often our libido does a runner too. 

 

But I promise there is some beautiful parts of this phase too.

 

But you have to be willing to drop the happy, bubbly, energetic version of yourself and look deep inside yourself.

 

It’s a time to turn inwards - to focus on yourself.

 

Easier said than done - I know. 

 

And if you get PMS that’s a double whammy.

 

I encourage my clients to let go of the ‘good mother/wife/daughter’ and accept themselves for who they are. Know that just because you feel cross, angry or quiet you aren’t broken or wrong. These are normal emotions and to feel them is healthy.

Taking time for you is vital in this phase - as is regular meals.

How to Mother when in this phase of your cycle;

• Slow down
• Stop rushing around, and instead start diong thighs at a slower pace
• Explain to the kids why you feel like this and what you need (space)
• Get outdoors with them so they can run riot and you can sit
• Spend time with close female friends
• Encourage problem solving with the kids - you might have more patience here than last week
• Eat snacks together - don't miss a meal, you’ll regret it later

 

Not slowing down here will further deplete your energy and reserves - and we need all the energy we can I know! So live life at a slightly slower pace and you’ll find yourself feeling calmer and more peaceful. You will also be amazed at your ability to get things done here - with none of the franticness that the Mother phase has, you’ll be calm and steady - and we know that slow and steady wins the race! 

 

So change your expectations and embrace the beautiful energy that this phase brings. It might even become your fav phase (like it did for me).

 

The life season after the Mother season ends, around age 50 is the season of the Wild Woman - and that is exactly what this phase is. Its all about YOU again, your needs and desires. So think about who you’ll be when you are 50, with no kids in tow, what kind of energy will you have. Probably more boundaried and sure of yourself. Embrace that energy for this phase of your cycle.

 

And that’s the end of one complete cycle - when you start to bleed it takes you back to the top to the phase of the Crone. And it repeats it’s self about 10-12 times a year, and about 400 times in a lifecycle. 

So there you have it - a full blog on what it takes to be a Mother with a Menstrual Cycle. You now know how your hormones work - and how important ovulating is. You will be more equipped on tuning in to your energy levels each day and using this energy as a guide for your activities when mothering your child/ren.

 

Its a big task to take on - listening and honouring your natural cycle, but it has so many rewards for you , and for your children. When you are better able to talk about your moods and why you feel that way, you are being a role model to your children. You are also shaping our our daughters will experience their own menstrual cycle - which is so powerful. 

 

Thank you for being a part of the movement of mothers who are tuning into their cycles.